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Mother's Day: A Reminder For Mindfulness
Mother's Day
<p>Celebrating Mother’s Day is seen as a positive event for many. Whether in classic family situations, or a different form of family, this is an important holiday when looking at celebrating the woman responsible for taking charge of each family. However, it is also an opportunity to help put mindfulness into celebrations, however they take place.</p>
<p><strong>Maternal figures are not always “blood”</strong></p>
<p>Firstly, mother’s day puts a lot of pressure and assumption on the actual form of mothers. For some, as mentioned, it is the actual mother figure of a family network But just as many have maternal figures that are not their actual mother. Some find stepmothers, grandmothers, or aunts to be more maternal. Or, perhaps no blood relation at all such as with a neighbor, a friend’s mother, etc.</p>
<p>When this holiday rolls around, many may struggle with whether or not they should celebrate their actual mother, if applicable, as opposed to with whom they actually associate the sentiment of the holiday. In the spirit of the holiday itself, the answer for many would be the latter option, celebrating the figure who they see as their mother in the true sense of the world.</p>
<p>This can sometimes bring undue stress and pressure, though, in situations where both the formal figure of the mother feels as though she deserves celebration.</p>
<p>Both focuses are as personal to the “child” as they are to the situation, and everyone’s choice is as valid as someone else’s choice.</p>
<p><strong>Holiday celebrations can be stressful on both sides</strong></p>
<p>There can also be stress and anxiety related to Mother’s Day on both sides of the equation, specifically relating to the gift giving portion. For example:</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>Mothers may not always feel they “deserve” celebration:</strong> Mothers who are struggling with raising their children, or who have lost their children due to death may not feel as though they deserve to have a celebration. This can cause a lot of stress and anguish day-of.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><strong>Children may feel torn about what to get their mother: </strong>There can be stress about what gift is “good enough” to get their mother, and also whether they should get something heartfelt, or just as something special.</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>Mindfulness counts</strong></p>
<p>Regardless of what side you are on, as mother or child, be mindful of the following details:</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>There is no perfect image of a mother:</strong> Mothers look, act, and are different for each and every person. There is also no “right” or “wrong” way to celebrate the day on either side, as every family’s situation is different.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><strong>The day-to-day bond is far more important:</strong> If there is pressure to “do it right” in celebrations, both mothers and children should remember that the day-to-day bond between them is far more important than whether or not the celebration is “big enough”.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><strong>Choose to opt out, if you wish: </strong>Some will find the negatives outweigh and positives and can opt out. This is a strong example of living mindfully and can be a great way to actually strengthen the connection when the decision is made jointly.</li>
</ul>
<p>When making plans to celebrate this weekend -- or not -- keep these notes in mind to help make it authentic and mindful on both sides.</p>
<p>Sources:</p>
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.anxietycanada.com/articles/a-mindful-mothers-day/">https://www.anxietycanada.com/articles/a-mindful-mothers-day/</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.queensu.ca/humanresources/sites/webpublish.queensu.ca.hrdwww/files/files/wellness/mentalhealth/HH_Reduce%20Holiday%20Stress%20with%20Mindfulness.pdf">http://www.queensu.ca/humanresources/sites/webpublish.queensu.ca.hrdwww/files/files/wellness/mentalhealth/HH_Reduce%20Holiday%20Stress%20with%20Mindfulness.pdf</a></li>
</ul>
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